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Welcome to Jon Michail’s Personal Branding Masterclass. Jon is the founder and CEO of image group international, an award-winning image consulting and personal branding pioneer established in 1989. This podcast will bring you old-school wisdom, inspiring ideas, strategies and hacks for the new tech world. Here you will learn everything about personal branding: the system, the techniques and the right mindset to have a successful personal brand, image and reputation.

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Hello, everybody, and thank you for being here with me today. Before we start our chat, I kindly ask you to connect with me on social media. My Twitter, it's Jon_Michail; on LinkedIn, it's Jon Michail; you can find me as Image Group International on Facebook. So let's get started. Look, we talk about a lot around, you know the concept of relationships. And of course, we know that relationships are one of the basic needs of human beings. And a contributing factor to achieving fullness in life, as long as that relationship is healthy, and constructive. But as we've all experienced, not all relationships are healthy. Unfortunately, the world is full of toxic people. And I'm sure you've met some of them. You know what I'm talking about, you know that Nick picking mean negative, rude, gossipy conniving, why otherwise toxic person who just can't seem to escape by the white, something to reflect on, and I could be your boss right now. And this is an interesting one, because the workplace in my experience right now is is experiencing toxicity to a level I haven't seen before in my lifetime. And that's not by accident. So what I say there is if your workplace is also toxic, good opportunity to start looking on that and also reflecting because life is too short. The truth is that toxic people defy logic, and some are unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them. And others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people's buttons. The concept of drama queens and drama kings comes to mind either way, and this is the case, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all toxic stress for all involved. And this is important because toxic stress, of course, is a killer long term. And something that impacts people dramatically to the point where of course, they have a breakdown. And that's probably not the smartest thing to be living in around with all that type of energy, if that's actually what it's creating, because this directly affects your life, let alone there's of course, but in that case, they might be conscious or unconscious from that, but their perspective, from your perspective, you don't really care, because it's actually affecting you. So there's no I don't want to go into this empathy right now regarding people like that. Because specifically, I know that if you're an empath, for instance, and empathetic type person, you might feel sorry for him and feel sorry for him and feel sorry for them to the point where the cost will be your own health long term. I've seen that many, many times. So what I want to share that part of toxicity is an element of self sabotage. Because I mean, why would you be toxic? If you had the choice, really the conscious choice? And we could argue, yeah, I've got that choice. But if it's unconscious, at times, it's people think that's the way they are. And then of course, is not true. So self sabotage is one of the greatest enemies we all have as human beings. And for some, it's a daily existence. Because, you know, you can make toxic people anyway, as I mentioned before the workplace, at the gym, in your circle of friends. It could be also a client or obnoxious novel that uses their toxic manipulation example, or how smart they are, to really distract you from the toxic personality unless they pretend they are positive, okay, but they you know, they are negative, they're just sugar coordinates. And then of course, it becomes a distraction from you're really getting an insight into who they really are. It isn't much you can do about that. Of course, you can't control other people. We already know that however, you can't control how you deal with them, and help you deal with the emotions that provoked you when he comes the importance of emotional intelligence that we noted and spoke about Two episodes ago. The thing is with emotional intelligence, it's a topic that's essential today, emotional intelligence is an understanding of your intuition, understanding how to relate with people and of course, build rapport and also have an understanding that the other human being on the other side was So has got their own challenges like you do in life, even when you pretend you don't. So it's important that we revisit this particular subject because it's not a subject that you would have, for instance, learnt at uni, okay, it's something that you only learn through lived experience, most of the times, and of course, it's an essential awareness skill, because without it, you won't be able to deal with people effectively. And to deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach enables you, thus, the board to consult again, what you can and what you can't eliminate. The important thing to remember, though, is this, you are in control far more than you realize. And self control self discipline, self leadership is an essential component in especially realizing that you're dealing with a toxic individual, and at the same time, giving you the awareness to step back, in my experience dealing with powerful and ambitious leaders, politicians and entrepreneurs. I've run across numerous effective strategies that they and other successful people employed. Also, when dealing with toxic people. And I've separated my five best tactics to help you, of course, it could be others. But let's keep it simple for today, and we'll stick to five. First of all, do not get sucked into the drama, the drama for a toxic person is part of their way of being. Okay, that's how they hook you in. And of course, you know, the drama is most likely also part of the trip and narcissistic toxic personality, from the perspective of it's all about them. It's all about hooking you into this story. And by the way, even when they pretend it's you know, how much they care and love everybody, et cetera. That's part of the manipulating tactic. So a toxic person is simply that toxic. My second insight is to set limits. And we've all experienced this, as I've noted, however, you're going to set limits, you're going to set boundaries, and what's acceptable from your perspective. Because if you don't do that, you'll be overrun. And what that means is, you can make a decision that you specifically will only limit certain amount of time with this particular person, or specifically come right out. And that means also, if you're in a workplace where this is happening, yes, suck your boss, your toxic bosses, and by the way, that's growing dramatically out there. And with a crisis that's going on worldwide, right now, in all different areas, toxicity is only going to increase. So don't be surprised if your best friend that works. That's the become also fairly toxic. That's why we keep on saying Mind, Body Spirit is the most important thing there is in life. And doesn't matter where you're at, from a station in life. That's all that matters. Bottom line, that's all it matters. Getting that right first before anything else. The second insight is to distance yourself as another by setting limits and distancing yourself. Also, you know, it's a powerful self leadership decision, because you're running the show, now, I can knock them. And of course, distancing yourself can be done intentionally or unintentionally. What I mean by that is, you can actually say it, okay, that inner kicker distance, or of course, that acting without saying anything, again, that's gonna be up to you to sort of determine depending what the situation like is, what the climate is like the environment, et cetera. But remember, maintaining an emotional distance requires personal awareness, and courage. So you can't stop someone from pushing your buttons. However, you can take a deep breath, recognize when it's happening, and just listen, without actually adding more to the drama. And by that, I mean, take a deep breath, take a real deep breath, and just listen. And you might even want to smile occasionally, okay, just to let him know that you're taking all in, just listen, the more you listen, the more you're going to discover more about that individual that, you know, if they're going to be toxic, the toxicity will come out in different ways, then that's where your own awareness will come to play. Okay, finally, you know, you gotta also use your support system, your support system is the people around you that are really sort of on your side. And by the way, we all can have this negativity in us, we're human beings, you know, be aware of the person that's just rah, rah rah and always positive, and you don't see any negativity there. That person is not normal, because that humanity is not like that. Okay, you everyone's gonna, as we've noted, many minutes before everyone's gonna light and dark side. The concept here is it becomes dark when it becomes toxic. Okay? So finally, use your support system, your friends, family, colleagues, et cetera, use them and especially the ones that are always there for you You and you trust, like and respect, obviously, the more of that the better for you. So we reached the stage now where I'd like to share a story. And I'd like to share a story specifically on how I've learned to deal with toxic people. Now, you gotta understand, the more you deal with people, and I do daily and have coached, you know, well over 10,000 people, one on one, and well over a million people in groups, seminars, workshops, etc. Well, you get to learn a lot about human behavior. And you get to see a lot of patterns. Okay, and specifically, the patents are the key here, because the patents will reveal the long term story. If somebody is toxic with you in a small way, beware about it, because that most likely is an introduction to how that can be toxic in a big way. So you deal with people that are toxic, virtually, of course, you could argue, well, what happens if it's my boss? Well, I've already told you about that. Eventually, if it's toxic enough, you better get the hell out of there. But what happens if it's a client? Well, look, it's the same concept, because you can also choose clients, okay. And you can also set clients if somebody is toxic for too long. Of course, that's not going to probably be effective also in the relationship. But having said that, you know, I've met toxic clients. And because we're in the coaching business, you know, and empathy comes with the territory of who we are. Basically, the work is all about dealing with that toxicity and bringing that to their awareness that at times they are turning people off. The interesting thing about it is, some of them don't realize that they've got it. Okay. So you know, it's essential. And one particular story I can share with you, it was really interesting, because this particular client, very wealthy, very successful, a rah rah, rah, but totally toxic from the perspective of you know, rah, rah, rah positivity, and of course, she was blaming all the toxicity on her partner. And of course, initially, I'm a coach, I'm open minded, I'm very objective, but at the same time, I'm looking for clues on what actually is really going on. But what happened was, she was so toxic, you know, that basically, it was all about her, and at the same time, pretended to playing the Mother Teresa role saving the world, but she really was doing the opposite. And, you know, I don't know how non toxic her partner was. But certainly, he wasn't the problem. She certainly was bringing a lot, a lot of the problem to the story here with me, and at the same time using the partner as deflection. We've worked through that we've worked through that. And, you know, I'm proud to say, with a lot of hard work, and a lot of sort of soul searching, she came to the realization that yes, that at times, has been like that. She admitted that and it's very, very powerful when somebody admits that because that was part of the transformational journey of getting her to grow. And of course, today, she still has a very successful business and Korea, but at the same time, she's more integrated with herself, recognizing that her dark side also is there. And of course, she doesn't have to be what I would call his a COVID Toxic anymore. And I think that's fantastic, because that's the sort of hard stories I like also to hear and certainly it was one of the great stories that I've worked with in the last few years. So that's basically it for today. I trust this episode was useful for you. Remember, if you have trouble with toxic people and feel they're a negatively impacting you, just send me an email, and we'll see how we can help you. The email address is on the description of the episode. Also, I kindly ask you to write the show on Apple podcasts. Once you do please send us an email confirmation and we will send you a free ebook the real world guide to authentic personal branding. I want to thank you all until next time, cheers. 

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Jon Michail’s Personal Branding Masterclass" Podcast is sponsored by Image Group International, a global team of practical, digitally savvy personal brand and image strategists, based in Australia, committed to maximizing your impact, influence and authority in the business world. To learn more and apply for your personal coaching, seminars and group workshops please visit imagegroup.com.au or call 1800 631 311.